A Question of Why...

Why is it there are still people who still seem to have nothing but disrespect, if not outright hate and loathing, for the pup community? And if not hostility, then at the very least resistance to seeing or accepting us as we are.

There, I said I flat out. But don’t answer those questions right away. It’s too easy to give the quick answer, to toss out the retreads of old arguments and feel they address the question. They don’t. Because, when I say retreads, I mean that I’ve heard them used before, not just to castigate and dismiss the pup and handler community, but other segments of the broader kink community as well.

To be honest and completely frank, I will freely acknowledge that the pup community is no more a social utopia than any other out there. We have our problems and challenges. We’re just as human as everyone else, and with that comes all the variations, diversity, and shortcomings that one can expect. No, we don’t necessarily all like each other. We have our disagreements and conflicts. Personalities sometimes outright clash. And, as appealing as the fantasy of a 24/7 pup life might seem, the boons and the banes of the everyday world are just as much present with us as with anyone else.

Nor do I, at a personal level, hold myself to be some shining example of all that’s good and none of the bad that goes with being a pup. I’m just as human as the next person. I make mistakes; my decisions and choices haven’t always borne the best of results. More than once I’ve realized I could have handled something better than I did. There are those that have rubbed me the wrong way, and I’d be surprised if the converse wasn’t also true. I sure as heck don’t claim to know everything or be an expert on any subject.

And, yes, when it comes to our communal pup pack, I confess myself to be biased, my views subjective. My attachments to and involvement with it run too deep and carry too much meaning for it to be otherwise.I have great affection for my pupbrothers and sisters, and I don't hide that.

But when I come at this question and those that follow once it’s in the open, it’s with the experience gained from having feet firmly in both the pup and leather communities. Yes, there are people with far greater experience in either than I have. However, many of these men and women are my role models, some have been or are mentors, and all are people from whom I have learned. And one of the universal things I’ve learned from these role models is that this community, like any other, is at its best when it reinforces the importance of allowing the individual to explore his or her own path for growth and development. It's at its best when the pulse of brotherhood reaches all parts with equal strength.

So, again, why the negativity toward pups and the pup and handler community? Why are we not afforded the opportunity borne of this concept of growth, a concept which many of the same naysayers claim to espouse? Why are we denied the bonds of wider brotherhood, when those bonds are a foundation upon which the broader leather and kink communities have thrived?

Is it because we, as a community within the greater whole, are fairly new? Granted, the contemporary pup community pack is less than a decade old. Yet, in that relatively short span of time, this pack has grown and flourished at a remarkable rate. We’ve forged a brotherhood built on common values and interests we share. We’ve seen a considerable number of pup and handler groups springing up all over, not just in the U.S., but worldwide. In many ways, the pup community is testimony to what can be accomplished in the age of social media.

But if our newness is a cause for negativity and hostility, then I confess myself stumped. We’ve done nothing that other segments of the broader community haven’t also done. The leatherboys followed a comparable course during their emergence fifteen or so years ago, and that is but one example. And there was resistance to that emergence in its earlier days. Other groups within the community have experienced similar paths – and similar hurdles.

What is it that gives rise to this resistance to change and evolution? What is it that slams shut the gates to the community in the faces of those trying to find a place within – and when there’s plenty of room in the neighborhood for all. Leather and kink were never intended to be some kind of cultural Home Owner’s Association!

How much of this comes from some ingrained compulsion to defend traditional values and practices from change rather than a willingness to balance tradition with change? Is it a blinded and fettered drive to preserve what was and maintain what is at the expense of what can be? Or is it a belief that because one individual’s approach to kink is right, any others must be wrong?

I’m a big supporter of tradition and an advocate of the concept. It provides a sense of historical perspective to our community, a kind of continuum mapping where we are and how we got there. Tradition can be the roots from which future growth can spring and the fruit of new ideas blossom. It’s the fuel in the torch one generation passes to the next. It’s the catalyst that harnesses the power of change to propel itself forward, renewed and relevant.

But, within the leather and kink community, traditions are not rules. They’re a framework of values to be passed on, with the expectation that the future generations will own them in their own way. Where personal growth and development are considered key, tradition should not be the roadblock on their highway. Change is inevitable. It comes with the passage of time and the influx of new ideas. To avoid obsolescence and remain vital, traditional values and practices must adapt.

The leather and kink community today is not what it was twenty, thirty, or forty years ago. Yes, there are concepts and values that have been passed along, but they have all changed and evolved along the way. They will continue to do so as they go into the future. To claim or pretend otherwise is something of a disregard for what’s come before and what is yet to come.

It cannot be denied that the contemporary pup and handler has adapted existing traditions to its own emerging identity. But this isn’t some conscious or communal effort to disregard all that’s come before us, to thumb our collective noses at any structures that already exist. It’s taking concepts that have survived and evolved over the passing years and owning them in such a way that meets our community needs and drives. It’s not to disrespect anything that’s out there, but to pay our respects while forging our self-identity. It’s to show that the ideals and values of the past can be vital and relevant enough to be accepted by the next generation.

Of course, to accept that the pup community is preserving past tenets, values and practices within its own contexts is to shoot the first hole in the next argument: pups and pup play are just a passing trend. Now, I will not dispute that there are those among us who are here because being a pup is the “in” thing right now. However, I will completely and utterly reject any statement that dismisses pups as a whole.

Pups are not a new addition to the demographics of the kink community. Nor is puppy play a new fetish. True, what we consider pup play today is not what it was back 20 – 30 year ago. Back then, it was primarily a punishment or humiliation. Now it’s a wide array of personal expression. Socially, we’re organizing into groups and clubs that are set up to meet the needs and interests of our part of the community. A true brotherhood has been formed, one of the closest I've ever experienced much less been part of. That we have pulled together as a pack as tightly as we have in the face of loss and adversity completely renders any arguments about us being trendy irrelevant and without merit.

So if it’s not a trend, and it’s not about tradition, then what’s the logical basis for the negativity aimed at the pup community?

Is it our relationships? This should be a unifying point, not a divisive one. Handler/pup relationships are just as real Sir/boy or Daddy/boy or other relationships that are formed around the D/s dynamic (that isn’t to say all handler/pup relationships are considered D/s relationships by those in them, only that they exist). And, like any relationship, each is distinct.

I’m not going to venture into specific statements and misconceptions I’ve encountered, either directly or indirectly, regarding handler/pup relationships. Many of us have heard them. Suffice it to say that my personal belief is that if the relationship is safe and nurturing, if those within it are content and happy with what they have and with one another, then it’s up to those same people to define what works for them. The only limit to our relationships is our imaginations!

Could it be that we, as a community, are being judged by the actions of a handful? Again, there’s no arguing that there are people who have used being a “pup” as an excuse to act out and cross lines of acceptable behavior. But I have to ask this. Would the actions of one or two boys be considered a reflection on or definition of leatherboys as a whole? Leatherwomen? Bears? Any other segment of the community? No, they wouldn’t.

So why do that to us pups? There are plenty of us out there setting the positive example, so to claim we aren’t visible is without merit. And not only are we setting that example, but we, as a community, are trying to police our own as well, to reinforce such basics as respect for personal space. Why wouldn’t we? We have the same concerns.

So maybe it comes down to the last point: respect? Is there some underlying thought that keeps relegating us to being the black sheep of the leather and kink community? Is it that a self-perpetuating cycle has been set in motion where people want respect from the pup community which itself has felt disrespected? Or is it just a refusal to respect anything that’s too different coupled with an unwillingness to have even one conversation that could change that and make all the difference? Is it something else altogether?

There is no pup revolution, as some would have it. We aren’t out to take the kink world by storm and redefine everything about it. As I said once before, we aren’t looking to upset the banquet table, we just want a place to put our bowls down and eat along with everyone else. In the end, we’re all part of one big community. And if we want to be seen as such by those on the outside, we have to be one on the inside. A community divided is no community at all.

The only change that needs to happen – and the sooner the better – is to get past this divisive belittling and misconceived judgmentalism. Let’s talk TO one another, not just AT or ABOUT one another. It’s the only way we’ll ever learn what we need to know about each other. And learning requires that we open ourselves to new ideas and concepts; that we step outside our comfort zone.  Change requires that we dare to think differently from before and take risks.

And, sometimes, that’s the scariest kind of edge play we can experience!

Let me close this with a challenge. Take the time to learn who and what we are. Take the chance of getting past a surface appearance and finding the real substance of the people in this great big pack. Don't fall into preconceptions and stereotyping.

Let's all get beyond all these things that are holding us back. Let's take the "ad" out of adversity, celebrate what's left, and put the "unity" back in community.

Step Aside Speech, 7/20/2104

YouTube Video of my step Aside speech

One Pack!

I confess myself disappointed by a recent post on Secrets that surfaced. A post that comes in the wake of an outstanding IPC 2015 weekend. One that is blatantly hostile toward one of the contestants. It saddens me that so dark a cloud has eclipsed the brightness of a weekend that drew our pack together. A cloud that dims the our future because of the ugly shadow it casts.

One of the messages I strived to champion is just how strong and vital our pack is. I've promoted it before my title year, determinedly-so during my time as International Puppy, and I will continue in that same vein. During my step-aside, I said that, as a pack, we have to take care of our own.

Those weren't meant to be just empty words. I have seen so much that reassures me that so many of us share that same belief. And I have seen enough to know it's important that we rally behind it. We, as a pack, have great reason to take pride in ourselves and what we've accomplished so far, together and for each other.

We hear often that we want to be seen and respected for who and what we are as pups and as a pack. To gain that respect from the outside, we have to show respect for each other within as well. A pack is only as strong as everyone within it. To be seen as strong, we have to be strong.

No, we won't necessarily like one another. We're pups, but we're human - and as humans we will have differences. But those differences do not have to preclude treating each other with a modicum of respect.

Former titleholder or not, I am proud to call the pups in this pack my brothers and sisters. I am proud of how we, as a pack, have time and again come together to support each other in times of need and share in times of happiness. I'm proud because that is the face we're being seen with.

Let's not lose that. Let's not lose those very things that bind us together!

One pack! One Love!

Wrapping up IPC 2015 Weekend... and Looking Ahead

Just a quick note. This wasn't my step-aside. I'll be posting a video recording of that very soon.

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Barks and Howls on a for a great and successful International Puppy 2015 Contest weekend!

First, I have to give two tails up to all four of this year’s contestants (Pup Frogger, Pup Figaro, Pup Havok, and Pup Wolf). Four excellent contenders for the title who had an amazing energy together. I can tell your class was rockin’ it! You are all winners, nothing less!

Again, congratulations, howls and wags to my new little brother, Pup Figaro, the new International Puppy 2015. A truly incredible pup with so much energy and, for lack of an appropriate term, pupsonality. To see this pup in action is to understand why he actually once kinda intimidated me. That part, though, has long since passed. What remains is the important point that Figaro is a pup I’ve long admired for what he brings to and does for his community. I am honored and privileged to be his title brother.

Now he will be bringing that same energy and drive into his new adventure as IPC’s International Puppy 2015. I have no doubts he will take this title and all it represents forward to new and exciting places. And I know that our pup community pack will welcome, support, and encourage him in all he does just as they did me.

I’m looking forward to working alongside Pup Figaro in the coming months to continue building and promoting our pup community.

Of course, the beginning of his new journey is also brings with it the close of a chapter in mine. Yep, I’m a wuzzie now! The last eight months just flew by, but they were eight months filled with fun times, opportunities to see more of our great pack, and to meet more of the people in it. It was a time of exchanging ideas and experiences toward mutual learning and understanding. A time of touching lives and having mine touched in a way I never thought possible.

These past eight months were a chance to get a message out to the broader leather and fetish community. A message that we are a part of that broader community, that we want to be seen, understood, and respected for what we really are and not by misconceptions and misunderstandings. Every conversation I had was an educational opportunity, and if I opened even one mind to a better understanding of pups, our community pack, or our play, then I call that a success.

These past eight months were a time of getting to know and connect with so many pups as well handlers and others in our community. So many with such an amazing variety of experiences and backgrounds. It truly is phenomenal and humbling to be part of it all. What stands out most, though, are the connections and conversations with those just beginning to explore their inner pup and the pack we’ve built. To have this opportunity to be there for them, to answer questions wasn’t just incredible, but a reminder of my own beginnings.

Yes, all the events I made it too were great fun. But what I will carry forward even more from my time as International Puppy 2014 will be the friendship s and personal connections I made along the way. In the end, this has been and will always be first and foremost about the people - the pups and handlers and everyone who make this pawsome community pack what it is.

I did have two goals set for myself during my title year; ones I knew couldn’t be fully recognized in just eight months. One was to keep doing my part to building up our community pack so that pups everywhere have a place to belong and something to be proud of being part of. The other was to build bridges to the broader leather & fetish community, to break through some of the existing misconceptions and misunderstandings.

I think I achieved some measure of success in those areas, but I also know that we aren’t fully there yet. I will leave it to others to decide just how far I got. Just as I will leave it to others to determine how well I represented our community pack. I can only assure you that I gave it nothing less than my full best, and I tried never taking anything with it for granted.

And now the next chapter of my journey begins. I promise that I won’t fade away now that my title year has drawn to a close. The passion, the dedication – event the love – I have for our community pack is too strong for me to just stop. My own inner pup is too deeply connected to his pup brothers and sisters. There are still things I hope to accomplish. More importantly, there is still so much for me to learn.

So this isn’t really farewell. This is just a door to the next part of the journey. This is still an exciting time for the pup community pack. A time for all of us to work together to meet the challenges that lie ahead and to shape our future into what we want it to be. And there is no way I can be sad when I have so many pup brothers and sister to be with as we get there!

ARUFF!

Winding Down as International Puppy 2014

In just a little more than three days, IPC will be anointing the new International Puppy 2015!

And, as I get ready to head out for the fun, the festivities, and the controlled mayhem that almost inevitably results when there’s a large number of pups in one place, I just want to take a moment to say thank you to everyone for the incredible support you’ve all shown me during my time as International Puppy.

It’s been an amazing ride since last November, filled with great people, lots of fun, and plenty of great memories. But it’s also been a reminder of just how great our pup community really is, and to see it all happening on the wider scale… well, it makes me even more happy and proud to be part of it all.

One question I'm getting more as IPC 2015 gets closer is if it bothers me that I've only had 8 months as the titleholder. In truth, not at all. For on thing, I've packed a lot into those 8 months. But also, there will be more for me after this weekend (the fall schedule is already lined up). And I have some idea of what i want to do in the future as well.

Most of all, this is about all of us, and I'm just one small part of it all. And I'm looking forward to having a new brother or sister!

I will be writing a more in-depth reflection of my adventures here in the coming days. But I wanted to go into IPC 2015 weekend by first saying thank you to everyone in this great pack of ours! Y'all are PAWSOME, and I can only hope you believe I represented you all well.

In Puppyhood and Pride,

Pup Tripp
IPC International Puppy 2014

Hell Hath No Terror

You cannot frighten me with your tales of the terrors of hell. I have faced my own inner demons in the darkest watches of the night, and either defeated them or accepted them as part of myself. And there is no worse fear than that of being lost in the inner dark of the self and not knowing if you can find the way back.

International Puppy 2014 at the 6-month Mark

Wow! It doesn’t seem like it’s been 6 months since that surprising moment on a stage at the Flamingo Resort in St. Pete. But, yep, come the 9^th, it will be six months since I became International Puppy 2014. Halfway there!  And, damn, what a ride it has been to this point! And there’s just as much ahead in the 2^nd half (actually, a little bit more).

Yes, it IS true that my step aside is in July, when IPC’s International Puppy 2015 takes the banner for his/her year, but I’ve been told I can still finish out a full year as the 2014 titleholder. And, looking at the schedule from mid-July through the beginning of November, I’ll definitely be out there!

Yes, the travels and the events have been fun, and I’ve enjoyed it all immensely. I know they’ve been mainly on the eastern side of the Mississippi ( I did get to cross it in New Orleans!), but that’s going to change in the 2^nd half of the year. From Tampa to New York City and New Jersey, Ohio in both Columbus and Cleveland, from New Orleans to Toronto, and a few points in between, I’ve been fortunate already to meet so many great pups (and their handlers) and to make, not just new friends, but new brothers and sisters.

No matter where I’ve gone, the energy that we all share has been amazing! Be it a fund-raiser bar night, an educational presentation, or a major event like CLAW, there’s just something special that draws us all together. Quite often, it has been part of the energy that has kept me going.

And no matter where I’ve gone, I’ve always come back having learned so much. We really are a very diverse community, with a wide array of interests and needs. That our common bond of being pups brings together so many who are so different is truly amazing. And no matter what the difference, you’ve all taught me so much more about being a pup and our community.

And, for all I’ve learned thus far, there’s so much more yet to be learned, and I look forward to all of it! As such, I can comfortably say I will never be an expert on pups or the pup community. I’ve never thought of myself as such, and now I really know why. But I can say I’ve gained a lot of new insights and increased my understanding. And, more than that, I can say I’m more proud and blessed than ever to be one of you!

I don’t want to start saying too many thank you’s just yet (I’ll save that to for the step aside in 2 months, and even then, I’ll try to keep it brief).  But I have to acknowledge that I wouldn’t have made it this far without a lot of support from people throughout the community and from IPC. Y’all have made sure I’ve been taken care of. I haven’t had to ask for much of anything. Y’all have invited me in, made sure I had what I needed, and opened the door for fun and successful events. More often than not, a phone call or an email was all I needed to smooth the road.  I’m looking forward to that continuing over the next 6 months!

And as I go into that 6 months, I want to repeat something I said at the beginning of my title run. I don’t see this as my title. It belongs to all of the pups out there. I’m the one that’s been chosen and entrusted with carrying it and representing our community in a positive light, and to bring us all closer together. But it also means I’m here, to hear what you all have to say, to hear your ideas of what the future can look like, and to do my part to make it happen.

Whatever that future is, it belongs to all of us, and we all deserve to be heard. There isn’t a one among us who can claim to know what’s best for us all (well, aside from safety concerns), and no one voice should be any louder than the others. We’re in this together, and together we can build a future pup community where we can all be proud to belong.

I have a feeling the next 6 months are going to kick ass! ARUFF!

A Bridge Not Yet Far Enough

One of the goals I set for myself as IPC’s International Puppy 2014 was to work on bridging the divide born of misunderstanding, misconception, and a certain level of unawareness between the broader leather & fetish community and the growing pup community within it. Having feet planted firmly in both places, there were already doors of opportunity open through which I could work to make new connections and strengthen old ones. Those avenues allowed for quicker progress toward the dialogue and discussion that is absolutely essential if we are to keep taking the necessary steps forward to mutual understanding. That there were voices within both communities urging me to take on that task only reinforced its importance and my commitment to it.

I believe I can safely say that I have made some measure of progress toward that goal. There is no way possible that it can be fully realized within the span of a couple of years, much less just one. However, at almost six months into my title year, I have already engaged in or facilitated a number of conversations that have been positive, enlightening, and constructive for all sides. More than enough to reaffirm my belief that the progress and the openness to make it happen are there.

Yet with them comes also the reminder of just how far we still have to go. For all those who are open and inviting to the pup community, there still remain the roadblocks that make the journey toward being one community united that much more difficult. For each success we achieve toward breaking through that wall of separation there remains the unbending rebar trying to hold firm to the existing structure. For each door that is unlocked, there remains some being held by hands on the other side so they can’t open.

The leather community today is not what it was 15 or 20 years ago, just as the leather community of 20 years ago was not what it was in the 60’s and 70’s. Nor will the leather & fetish community 10-15 years from now be what it is today. The change and evolution has been there all along and always will be. As each generation comes in to the leather and fetish community, it brings with it new ideas and concepts. These, in turn, meld with existing traditions, gradually replace those that have fallen into obsolescence, or themselves fall to the wayside. Together, it’s the fuel that propels the evolution of our community so that it can remain relevant and vital to those within it and inviting to those who want to join us.

In this present time, one of the instruments of that change and evolution is the emergence and growth of the contemporary pup and handler community. Like so many others before us, we’ve come to the threshold and found the way in to the broader community set with challenges and hurdles. And, like those who have come before us, rather than just give up and walk away from the party, we – as an overall community – have chosen to rise to those challenges, address and overcome them, and show that we’re just as much a part as anyone else.

And, yes, the pup & handler community is very much a part of the whole community. Even as we bring to it something new and different, we bring also new ways of adopting and living the traditions and protocols that have made the leather community the rich and enticingly mysterious entity it is. We bring with us paths of self-expression and acceptance taking their place right alongside those already there. Within the pup community there really is a melding of so many of the various parts of the broader scene. And, yes, it includes with it the flaws to remind us we’re not perfect and that there’s always room to grow.

Maybe not all of us wear leather. But a large number of us embrace and embody those traits that are taught time and again about what it means to BE leather. Just as a leatherman isn’t defined by the hides that went into making his vest or chaps, a pup or handler is more than the hood or leash they use to express what they are. Just as many of the people in the leather community adhere to, believe in, and promote relationships built on D/s dynamics, many in the pup & handler community embrace those same concepts. There are some who come into the leather and fetish world just for the intense edginess of the play. There are pups and handlers who have that same interest and fascination. Pup play, at one of its most basic levels, is a form of BDSM/kink play – different from any other form of play only in the specifics of what’s being done.

Within the leather & fetish community, it is repeated time and again that we are defined in no small part by what’s in our hearts. We are taught and told about the concepts of the slave heart or the boy heart, even the Sir or Daddy hearts. The pup heart and its handler counterpart are no less real and are equally definitive.  Within the social structure of the leather and fetish community is a wide array of roles and identifiers: Master/slave, Daddy or Sir/boy, Dom/sub, and so on. The roles of Handler/pup are just as viable. Among us you will easily find respected mentors and leaders, just as they are to be found throughout the diverse whole.

Just as the broader community has its avenues of addressing problems and problem elements within it, the pup community is equally aware of and determined to address its own.

Yes, there are most certainly things that make pups different. However, within a wide community where embracing and encouraging difference are part of our core, there is room to expand even further. We identify – and express – distinct canine characteristics and then incorporate them in to what we do. We, as a community, willingly take on labels and roles such as pup, handler, or trainer instead of some that may be considered more traditional. But rather than think we are tossing aside tradition in the interest of self-assertion, we’re doing our part to keep many of those traditions alive and relevant by adapting them to contemporary times and situations.

The pup community isn’t here to change everything. It’s here to give a place within the larger community to many who might not otherwise have ever found one. We aren’t out to upset the banquet table or take over the dungeon. All we’re really looking for is a place to put our dog bowls down and be part of the conversation, a corner in the dungeon to play so we’re part of the party, and the chance to be who and what we are alongside everyone else.