Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The World's a Stage - And You're on in Five

This is National Coming Out Day, but the point is just as valid for the other 364 days of the year . . .

The World's a Stage - And You're on in Five

By this time, it practically goes without saying we, as brothers and sisters in the LGBTQ community, still have a long way to go.  We still face an uphill battle for full equality in every area.  Rights that many of us consider basic to all citizens of this country.are still denied us. More importantly, we face a struggle for acceptance, not only by society, but of who we are on our own terms – a struggle that we see recently is costing the lives of teenagers across the country.

October is designated Gay and Lesbian History Month, with the 11th being National Coming Out Day. It’s a chance for each of us to stand up and be counted as part of a larger community. It is an opportunity we should not let slip by - but it is also one that we should not limit to just one day each year.

In the ongoing battle for equal treatment without regard to sexual orientation, visibility is one of the most powerful tools we have. To become more visible as a group is to draw more attention to our struggle as a group. The voices raised are no longer alone, but part of a larger movement. As such, it becomes more difficult to just dismiss the cries for equality.  It gives those who struggle with discrimination and prejudice a message that they aren’t alone, and hopefully, provides the strength to endure.

To remain invisible is to allow the rest of society to marginalize us and deny us equality.  It strengthens the violence that’s still too often brought against us. To remain silent is to let their lies and misrepresentations overpower the truth of who and what we really are.  To not be seen lessens our hope for a brighter future for those fighting the inner struggles.

The greater our visible number, the better we can effectively demonstrate the inequities forced on us because of our sexual orientation. Only by showing American society that we seek only the same rights and civil liberties as the heterosexual majority can we achieve social equality. Only by declaring ourselves can we show that we are no different than anyone else, that we are just as important a part of this society as anyone else.

Limiting our presence to a handful of faces and voices is not enough to get the attention of the American public or to get that message heard loud and clear.

Many of those who adamantly oppose equality for LGBTQ people condemn us as immoral, and target us as the cause of degenerating social values They would have us remain silent so that the hollowness of their arguments goes unchallenged.  They trumpet their rights in  an attempt to deny us ours.  They throw dispiriting epithets at us, dehumanize us, treat us as second-class citizens.   They resort to lies and misrepresentations and continue to dictate codes of acceptability for society as a whole, codes they then use to denigrate us.  The fear and hate brought against us is empowered, too often manifesting in physical violence and death.

Visibility ensures that we will no longer settle for such social maltreatment. Each new face behind the banner means one more voice. Each call shakes the decaying foundations of the solaced status quo.  Each call reinforces the message that we will no longer cower in fear.  We will no longer stand by and let our brothers and sisters be taunted and bullied, assaulted and killed. Our contributions, on the job and to society as a whole, are no just valid.  When we stand in strength, we show just how integral a part of the whole we truly are.

How does visibility relate to the individual? To the majority of the American public, the shouting throng waving pride flags is a crowd of nameless strangers. It is only the individual who can lend the catalyst of familiarity. When the face seen and the voice heard are known, the isolated observer is no longer disconnected.  From the ranks of the newly-vested we can draw more and more support.

Too often, I have heard another gay or lesbian person say there is nothing he or she can do. Or that there are already enough of us fighting the battles ofr acceptance and equality. Neither statement could be further from the truth! Each and every one of us needs to stand up and be counted. It is left to all of us to contribute to the struggle - because it is a struggle that affects all of us. By showing our numbers, the American public can see we are not a few isolated radicals, that previously convenient stereotypes are erroneous prejudices. We are a community of considerable size, as diverse and vibrant as any other. We show that we are friends, sons or daughters, mothers or fathers, brothers or sisters, family, spouses, neighbors, and co-workers. We can show that we are thinking, feeling human beings, capable of love and caring.

Every day is an opportunity to reinforce the strength of visibility and shape it within the framework of familiarity. Don't think of it as an obligation to the gay community or the struggle for equal rights, however. It is an obligation to yourself. In the end, our triumphant achievements rest with the individuals who work together but benefit the community as a whole.

Until we finally achieve true equality within society, we must remain visible as a united community. But only the commitment and contribution of each individual provides the strength necessary to maintain the momentum of the communal effort.  We need each others’ support.  Those who fear they’re lost and alone need to know there is someone to turn to, someone out there like they them or someplace to go where they are valued.

It isn't easy.  It won't be until it no longer makes a difference.  The risks are great, to be sure.  But if each of us can do our part, that day can be brought closer.  We owe it to ourselves as much as we owe it to anyone.