A Bridge Not Yet Far Enough

One of the goals I set for myself as IPC’s International Puppy 2014 was to work on bridging the divide born of misunderstanding, misconception, and a certain level of unawareness between the broader leather & fetish community and the growing pup community within it. Having feet planted firmly in both places, there were already doors of opportunity open through which I could work to make new connections and strengthen old ones. Those avenues allowed for quicker progress toward the dialogue and discussion that is absolutely essential if we are to keep taking the necessary steps forward to mutual understanding. That there were voices within both communities urging me to take on that task only reinforced its importance and my commitment to it.

I believe I can safely say that I have made some measure of progress toward that goal. There is no way possible that it can be fully realized within the span of a couple of years, much less just one. However, at almost six months into my title year, I have already engaged in or facilitated a number of conversations that have been positive, enlightening, and constructive for all sides. More than enough to reaffirm my belief that the progress and the openness to make it happen are there.

Yet with them comes also the reminder of just how far we still have to go. For all those who are open and inviting to the pup community, there still remain the roadblocks that make the journey toward being one community united that much more difficult. For each success we achieve toward breaking through that wall of separation there remains the unbending rebar trying to hold firm to the existing structure. For each door that is unlocked, there remains some being held by hands on the other side so they can’t open.

The leather community today is not what it was 15 or 20 years ago, just as the leather community of 20 years ago was not what it was in the 60’s and 70’s. Nor will the leather & fetish community 10-15 years from now be what it is today. The change and evolution has been there all along and always will be. As each generation comes in to the leather and fetish community, it brings with it new ideas and concepts. These, in turn, meld with existing traditions, gradually replace those that have fallen into obsolescence, or themselves fall to the wayside. Together, it’s the fuel that propels the evolution of our community so that it can remain relevant and vital to those within it and inviting to those who want to join us.

In this present time, one of the instruments of that change and evolution is the emergence and growth of the contemporary pup and handler community. Like so many others before us, we’ve come to the threshold and found the way in to the broader community set with challenges and hurdles. And, like those who have come before us, rather than just give up and walk away from the party, we – as an overall community – have chosen to rise to those challenges, address and overcome them, and show that we’re just as much a part as anyone else.

And, yes, the pup & handler community is very much a part of the whole community. Even as we bring to it something new and different, we bring also new ways of adopting and living the traditions and protocols that have made the leather community the rich and enticingly mysterious entity it is. We bring with us paths of self-expression and acceptance taking their place right alongside those already there. Within the pup community there really is a melding of so many of the various parts of the broader scene. And, yes, it includes with it the flaws to remind us we’re not perfect and that there’s always room to grow.

Maybe not all of us wear leather. But a large number of us embrace and embody those traits that are taught time and again about what it means to BE leather. Just as a leatherman isn’t defined by the hides that went into making his vest or chaps, a pup or handler is more than the hood or leash they use to express what they are. Just as many of the people in the leather community adhere to, believe in, and promote relationships built on D/s dynamics, many in the pup & handler community embrace those same concepts. There are some who come into the leather and fetish world just for the intense edginess of the play. There are pups and handlers who have that same interest and fascination. Pup play, at one of its most basic levels, is a form of BDSM/kink play – different from any other form of play only in the specifics of what’s being done.

Within the leather & fetish community, it is repeated time and again that we are defined in no small part by what’s in our hearts. We are taught and told about the concepts of the slave heart or the boy heart, even the Sir or Daddy hearts. The pup heart and its handler counterpart are no less real and are equally definitive.  Within the social structure of the leather and fetish community is a wide array of roles and identifiers: Master/slave, Daddy or Sir/boy, Dom/sub, and so on. The roles of Handler/pup are just as viable. Among us you will easily find respected mentors and leaders, just as they are to be found throughout the diverse whole.

Just as the broader community has its avenues of addressing problems and problem elements within it, the pup community is equally aware of and determined to address its own.

Yes, there are most certainly things that make pups different. However, within a wide community where embracing and encouraging difference are part of our core, there is room to expand even further. We identify – and express – distinct canine characteristics and then incorporate them in to what we do. We, as a community, willingly take on labels and roles such as pup, handler, or trainer instead of some that may be considered more traditional. But rather than think we are tossing aside tradition in the interest of self-assertion, we’re doing our part to keep many of those traditions alive and relevant by adapting them to contemporary times and situations.

The pup community isn’t here to change everything. It’s here to give a place within the larger community to many who might not otherwise have ever found one. We aren’t out to upset the banquet table or take over the dungeon. All we’re really looking for is a place to put our dog bowls down and be part of the conversation, a corner in the dungeon to play so we’re part of the party, and the chance to be who and what we are alongside everyone else.