How Much Is That Handler in the Window?

** Originally posted January 2014 **

Here recently I’ve come across more than one instance of a pup becoming disillusioned that they don’t have a handler. And, sometimes as a result, they begin to question their own worth or identity as a pup, sometimes to the point of wanting to just sever all ties to the puppy world. Or they leave themselves open and vulnerable to situations that are unhealthy at best that, again, can lead them to turn away from us. Some of them I’ve known personally; some I have known only through acquaintance or social networking. But all of them are good pups, gifted with a vibrant puppy heart that could be nurtured into being so much more.

To see these pups turning away is saddening. There is so much that each of them could bring to our communal puppy pack, and we lose that potential. Even more disheartening, though, is that these pups end up hurt and disillusioned to the point of shutting out a part of themselves. 

How do we convince them that it need not be this way? How do we convince them to not shut out their inner pups because the right handler or trainer hasn’t come along yet? How do we get beyond the mistaken beliefs that all handlers and trainers are only looking for X or Y in a pup, that handers’ interests are as varied as there are pups in the world.

There was one pup I knew that sometimes wondered if he’d ever find a Sir or a trainer. He came into the leather community about fourteen years ago, and found himself collared fairly soon. It turned out that that relationship wasn’t the best fit for him (it wasn’t abusive, only that it didn’t match his personality and needs). After only a year, the collar was removed and he continued his journey independently. Most didn’t know he came out of it somewhat disillusioned and unsure of the leather community.

Fortunately for him (and others as it would later turn out), he soon learned there was a very supportive and vibrant community out there. The pup (although he didn’t identify as such at the time) found other ways to get involved. He got involved, first with a local club and, through that, more of the area groups and events. He soon found he had a natural connection with the leatherfolk and kinksters and grew to have great passion for it all. It wasn’t long before he was actively contributing, finding ways to put his service to use in ways that benefitted others. More importantly, it gave him a sense of direction and purpose. What he didn’t realize at the time was just how much he was discovering  about himself.

That’s not to say he gave up the idea of ever being collared again. Through it all, that desire remained inside, tempered by knowledge that it wasn’t beyond the realm of the possible. There had been interest from Sirs he respected, but the connection was never right. And, even without the collar, he gained the incredible gifts of their friendship and mentorship.

Eventually he came face-to-face with his own inner pup. That alone opened new doors for him. But it also put a sharper edge on that want for a Sir – or as the pup wanted then, a handler. But that wasn’t in the cards yet. Again, there were those who were interested in the pup, but he just knew it wasn’t right. So he didn’t give in or give up. Instead, he continued to remain involved, learning more about himself and growing as he went. Finding those things into which he could put his energy which, in turn, brought benefit to others and reassurance to himself.

And then – almost 5½ years later, it finally happened. The pup met a potential handler with whom he felt comfortable and connected. It happened when he least expected it, and he certainly wasn’t looking for a handler when it did. The handler was someone the pup had known for years. However, that man’s own journey had only recently taken him into exploring his Dom side. Neither had ever before given thought to a D/s or Handler/pup relationship between them until one chance encounter where Sir was asked to hold the pup’s leash and look out for him for a while by the pup’s partner. And something just clicked. So here was a pup only recently out of the kennel (but long involved in the community) and an emerging Sir connecting at an unexpected moment.

The pup wasn’t a youngster by that time. He was actually in his early 40s, and the Sir was almost 15 years younger than him. He wasn’t exactly the body type seen on all the posters for events and advertisements. He had a bit of a tummy and, without his glasses, blind as bat. But he had, by that time, come to know more about himself. He may not have known what all he could bring to a D/s relationship, but he’d gained a good understanding of what he needed and hoped to find in one. And now that such a relationship was possible, he had enough insight and experience to proceed carefully, with his eyes wide open, aware that this was a serious step.

The collar didn’t go on right away. Even though both were more than interested in seeing what could develop, they took the time to discuss and explore what it would mean. They both understood that a collar isn’t just something worn, that it means something deep and significant. It was nearly two more months before the collar was presented and only then after it was clear all sides were in agreement and understood. But finally, after nearly 6 years, the pup was presented with a collar and became an owned pup.

At MAL 2009, Mister J collared Pup Tripp.

I don’t think it needs to be told what that pup went on to become.  I can say that I do understand, that I’ve been there. I can say that I know how it feels to see others collared and wonder if it would ever happen for me, once or twice to the point of wondering if I wanted to stay involved.

Yes, it is true that I am no longer under Mister J’s collar. After a little more than three years, our Handler/pup relationship ended. But, in ways, it wasn’t so much an ending as it was a new chapter. I still see part of myself as His pup (and likely always will). He remains a great friend, mentor, and someone I will always hold in high esteem.  I still get a tingle when He says He is proud of me or just “Good pup!” I firmly believe that I owe my becoming International Puppy 2014 to Him as much as to anyone else who guided me to this point.

That is why I always try to reach out to disillusioned pups, to encourage them not to give up. Because I know that it can happen when it’s least expected. More importantly, there’s a world full of experience and opportunity and learning that awaits. Everything you learn and experience makes you that much more ready when the time finally does come.

Most of all, because you’re not alone. As dark as it may sometimes feel, and while maybe your brother and sister pups can't fill the role of handler or alpha, this whole big puppy pack is still here for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Something a little different...

Just a little something from a project I'm working on, a story entitled "By the Dark of a Hunter's Moon"

Keirstaad speaks…

We are the Hunters.  We are one with the Night.

For centuries the War between Good and Evil has raged unabated, with the Night an eternal battlefield and the souls of Mortals the elusive prize. And, for centuries, the Hunters have stood as guardians, protecting from harm the innocent and the unwary. The would-be predators become our prey; the hunters the hunted. Ours in an on-going battle, with no quarter given

Down through the centuries our existence has been the stuff of legend and myth. Folk tales in Northern Europe and Scandinavia call us the Wild Hunt, wolves and hounds howling and chasing prey in the dark of night. We’ve been called Ghost Riders, believed to be spectral horsemen pursuing or quarry across the heavens.  Our names have been many, but our truth only one.

We are the Hunters, eternal guardians, neither Mortal nor Immortal.

Nearly everywhere we have been known, we are held in fear and awe. To hear or see us has been to know us as harbingers of doom. Doors were locked and windows shuttered. Simple folk cowered at the sound of our approach, praying to be passed unharmed.

The earliest people knew the truth of our existence. But that truth was lost quickly in the shadow of fear, and we have become nearly as reviled as those evils we’ve long battled.

Well, so be it. The world has moved on, and so have our enemies. Evil has taken new forms and multiplied. Still we stand firm against it. The old has been forced to give way to the new, but through it all, we have endured, adapted and grown. Through it all, we have remained true to who we are.

We are the Hunters.  We are one with the Night.

Reflections at Sunrise

There has almost always been, for me, something powerful about watching the sun rise and a new day emerge from the night. Often times we miss it, caught up in whatever else is going on that has us awake at the dawning hour, but the subtle currents are there. Yet, on those occasions when I sit or stand and just watch the sky brighten as the sun peeks over the horizon… well, I can’t think of one instance where that hasn’t somehow moved me.

This morning, as I sat by the window at the airport, watching the daybreak, it was definitely one of the powerful and memorable moments. I suppose that shouldn’t be too surprising. After all, I was getting ready for the trip back home and a return to the real world after a weekend with some pawsome pups and handlers. It’s nearly always with wistfulness that many of us make those treks home.

What struck me in that moment, though, was that feeling of being disconnected and how poignant it seemed. It was a feeling I’ve had before but never been able to put into words. A feeling of suddenly being cut off from the whole and alone.

And just as quickly it struck me that I have no reason to ever feel that way. No reason whatsoever. I don’t have to look all that far back to find a moment to remind me that I’m absolutely not alone as a pup.

But, now that my mind had gone there, as I watched that sunrise, I thought about how many others can’t look back and so quickly find a moment like that. Pups out there who want that connection so that they can feel they belong and connected. If I could feel that way in a moment of weariness and transition, how does it feel to those who live it day after day?

We know those pups are out there. We see it almost every day via social networking. And many of us, via those same social networks, offer up sincere words of encouragement and virtual nuzzles to our brothers and sisters in need. This is a good first step in building up those connections to the whole and fostering the sense of belonging and inclusion. Never in a million years would I discourage it.

The pup community is overwhelmingly supportive and inclusive. No, it’s not universal. No community can ever claim that. However, unlike many, there seems a greater awareness and embracing of our diversity. That often translates into encouragement and support coming from many corners and kennels to a pup in need or even one just having a rough time. IN all my time in the leather community, I’ve never seen anything like we see it here.

But what else can we do? A virtual hug, no matter how sincere, doesn’t convey the reassurance and comfort of a real one. The same would seem to logically apply to being connected to the pup community via real ties and not just the electronic ones of Facebook. There’s a vast difference between reading about the ties of pack brotherhood and actually being surrounded by it and feeling it all around. It has to be very difficult to see so much going on here and there in the community and not be able to be a part of the fun and brotherhood. While it’s easy to say someone just has to show up, there are many factors that put it beyond the reach of some.  For those on the geographical fringe, it may not be easy getting to where the fun seems always to be.

I wish I had answers to this question. For a moment as I watched the dawn, it was disheartening that nothing came to mind. However, I’m a sucker for symbolism. And, in that dawning moment, I realized that, like the sunrise, all the resources and potential the pup community has within it can be what brightens the way. Whether as individuals or as groups and organizations, we have a lot of out there already broadening the connections amongst us all. We’ve already been doing it. This is just another day.

We talk about being one pack, inclusive and embracing. For that to truly be, it has to reach all who identify as pups and handlers.

The Gift

Dedicated to all my pupbrothers and pupsisters, wherever you are, and in memory of those who stay with us in spirit. From the loudest, most playful bark to the quietest nuzzle, what we do reaches many, and we really are joined as one. Peace and Joy to you all!

- Pup Tripp, IPC Intl Puppy 2014 -


THE GIFT
         by Pup Tripp

Gather ‘round, ye faithful pups

    Come sit beside the tree
    Now listen close, a tale I’ll spin
    So let your tails wag free

Once upon a time there was

    A pup without a name
    Who yearned for collar, bowl, and leash
    No handler ever came

No howl his ears perked beheld

    Nor other’s playful bark

    Alone he pined the whole year through

    And whimpered in the dark

On silent night, on Eve of Yule

    To sleep and then to dream

    The pup lay down with head on paws

    With naught but Moon’s bright beam

In his dream he looked above

    Upon the Moon’s pale face

    In loneliness he sought to ask

    The Moon to show his place

"Tell me, Moon, oh shining bright

    Why do I howl alone?

    Where’s a hand to hold my leash

    Or collar of my own?"

Silver tears the Moon did cry

    With light She held him near

    And subtle touch to raise his chin

    Her words She spoke so clear

“Listen close, my lovely pup

    With both your ears and heart

    For on the wind the sounds you seek

    Your shadows they will part"

"See and hear, you aren’t alone

    The pack’s already there

    It waits for you with open paws

    It waits for you to share”

Carefully he listened now

    To howls upon the wind

    To playful yips and barks of joy

    And to a voice within

“Go, be free, my precious pup

    Brothers wait, and sisters too

    The rest you seek will come in time

    Just when it’s right for you”

And in his joy, a name he found

    That was his very own

    It spoke to who he was inside

    Within his eyes it shone

Pup, he woke and barked with glee

    The pack, its howl did ring

    Pup, he knew, had come home at last

    His heart could finally sing

The Moon, She smiled with delight

    To see the pup’s tail wag

    With brilliant beams a gift She left

    A shining silver tag.

On the front, by dreams was etched

    His name, and on the back

    “You never have to be alone

    We’re here, One Love One Pack”

 

Twas a Pup Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the pound
All the puppies were “sleeping,” except for one hound
Stockings were hung for each handler and pup
Hoping that Santy Paws soon might show up
The handlers were bundled in bed for the night
Having drunk all the red and half of the white
That mischievous mutt, though not very agile
Arose from his bed to wander awhile
On kneepads and mitts to not make a sound
He slipped out of the kennel to just poke around
To the top of the stairs he did quietly slip
Then all the way down (with nary a trip!)
Into the kitchen he quietly crept
Looking for treats while everyone slept
When in by the tree there came a quick noise
That sounded suspiciously like new squeaky toys
With tail all a-waggin’, he ran to the cause
In hopes of a glimpse of Santy Paws
And there by the fireplace, in chaps and high boots
With bulldog and chest hair all covered in soot
Was Santy Paws setting down new puppy dishes
And harness and leashes to fill puppy wishes
For the handlers were gloves and jocks made of leather
For both there were singlets, good for all weather
He kept to his work, ignoring the mutt
Whistling and shaking his nice furry butt
And when he was done, he chuckled with glee
Then glanced at the pup hiding there by the tree
“You naughty pup,” he laughed as he said
“You should be getting back to your bed!”
With a scratch to the ear, he turned with a whirl
Distracting the pup by calling out “Squirrel!”
The pup looked around and when he turned back
Santy Paws had just vanished, along with his sack
But still to be heard, a voice from the night
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

The Journey Doesn't End Here

As we begin the long drive back home to DC, it strikes me that the journey that began a year ago also goes forward from where it began. That so many new challenges and opportunities lie still before me, not behind. The friendships I've made, the ties of brotherhood forged with our community pack, and all the things learned still go with me.

I do have ideas about where to focus that seemingly boundless energy. As the 2014 titleholder, I got to see firsthand those things that stir my creative juices and resonate with my passions. I got to hear my packbrothers and sisters and learn what their experiences and visions are. I never have been one to rest on my laurels, but rather always looking for the next thing I can do or help with.

So, now, going forward, I feel it's important to support an initiative whose importance can never be understated. That, of course, is Project Touch  Base, started by my little brother Pup Figaro and my brother pup, Havok. I spoke about it during the Florida Puppy contest about this, and the reaction was overwhelmingly in support of it. This project needs our support - our brothers and sisters need us.

At the same time, I want to resurrect a project I started under MAKK but unfortunately let slide. That is the Pupping Out Project. Each one of us in this pack, pup or handler, has a story to tell. And those stories can be the door that brings another home to us. I heard many of your stories in my travels, and they moved me. Imagine the power that has for the pup or handler looking to discover themselves and a place to call home. The Pupping Out Project is a place to tell these stories, share them with others, and bring us closer together as one pack.

And, above all, spend more time with my family, both my immediate leather family and my packmates who have time and again shown me how lucky I am.

So, as one chapter ends, I'm already looking to the next... And maybe somewhere in it gravity and I will learn to peacefully coexist.

One Year Later...

Tomorrow morning I’ll be starting the long drive down to Tampa/St. Pete. It was one year ago that I looked down that same stretch of road, setting out for International Puppy 2014. I didn’t know then I’d be coming back along that highway with the title. I didn’t know that it was to be the start of one hell of a journey, one that would turn out to be the journey of a lifetime. And now, 31,000 miles and one year later, I’m going back to where it started. And even though I stepped-aside back in July, this feels like a closing of an incredible chapter in my life.

I know I’m not the same pup I was one year ago. So many awesome things came my way, and I was fortunate and blessed to be able to meet so many incredible people. Each and every one of them left an imprint in my life, in my understanding and appreciation of our community pack. They all left me with an increasingly greater and deeper appreciation of just how strong and warm our pack really is. To be one of many who share as much as we all do, well… it’s nothing short of amazing, and I consider myself lucky to be a part of it all.

On this, the one year mark, I again thank you all for everything you gave me. I can only hope I was able to return or pay it forward enough.

-WuzzyPup Tripp-