Letting the Pup Heart Shine Through

 

It doesn’t seem like a month has passed since I was in Tampa alongside three other great pups. Yet it has. The last month has flown by, what with me laying out the base plans for the remainder of my title year, getting schedules to line up and getting ready for the fun that’s sure to lie ahead. There’s so much to look forward to, and that’s where I keep my focus.

But, as I do from time to time, I look back to remember where I’ve been. For me, it’s a powerful tool to keep me on track as I go forward; to never get so caught up in what’s unfolding that I lose sight of what got me there. And, today, seeing a particular photo momentarily took me back to that weekend.

For those who don’t know, my dad left this world less than 2 weeks before the contest. In fact, his funeral was Nov. 4^th, and I was in Tampa for the contest on the 7^th. So, going into that weekend, I wasn’t far removed from that deeply-felt loss.  My dad knew I’m a pup. He may not have entirely understood what that meant, but he knew it was important to me and he was proud of me for getting out there like I do. Right before he went to sleep for the last time, I made him a promise – that I would go down to Tampa and make him proud one more time. When I made that promise, it wasn’t that I had to win, but only that I would stand up there on that stage and do my best. He actually nodded a little, so I think he heard me. It was actually one of the last things I said to him.

I’ll be honest. It wasn’t always easy during the contest weekend. It weighed heavier than I thought it would. There were a lot of times when I would think about my dad and lose focus on what I was doing. Sometimes I wondered if I was even supposed to be there. I tried to hide those moments. I didn’t want to be the dark cloud on something that was supposed to be fun for all of us involved.

The one thing that kept bringing me back out of it, though, was staying in touch with my inner pup. Being alongside the likes of Hercules, Ego, and Amp made that possible. Being among the rest of my pupbrothers and family was the much-needed reminder of what we’re all about: one big puppy pack that’s there for one another. All that pup energy kept bringing me back to myself, to the pup I am in my heart.

And, in reflecting on that, I see again the real power of the pup heart. Even through such darkness as grief, being in touch with my inner pup gave me strength and focus. It brought me back to who I am and what it is I bring into it all. For my speech, I spoke about the importance of embracing the inner pup, of raising our heads and being proud as pups. I meant it then and now, as I look back, the words take on even more meaning.  Embracing that inner pup, letting it lift you to where you know you can be, has more potential than we realize. More than ever, I begin to understand how important it is for us to remain true to who and what we are, because there lies our strength.

And as I turn my focus forward again, I’m reminded anew of the promise and the power we pups can bring to ourselves, our brothers and sisters, and those around us – just by being who we are.  We have the strength and the drive to help each other and together build a community we can be proud to call our own.

 

WHEN WORLDS CONVERGE: Pups and the Leather World

 

Over the course of my travels and meetings in the pup community, I encounter many questions about how we pups fit in with the broader leather and fetish world – or if we even need to fit in at all. I also often hear pups asking how newer pups can learn more about the leather community. At the same time, I hear comparable questions coming from leather folk and kinksters about the pup community. Fortunately, these questions are very closely related, and the answers – while maybe not complete – can address all of them.

Now, I don’t pretend for even a moment to be an expert on either the puppy world or the broader leather and fetish community. My experience in the former goes back only six years and a little more than a decade in the latter. There are plenty of people in both who have been involved far longer than I have, and my own experiences pale in comparison. Every time I’m out an event or just talking with someone online or at a chance meeting, I almost always walk away having learned something new.  Having said that, however, I feel somewhat comfortable enough to give some general answers to the questions mentioned.

Of course, when it comes to the pup world, our own diversity isn’t limited to leather. Even though our roots, at least in the U.S., can be traced back to the earlier leather community, our own growth has encompassed a larger cross-section of interests. We have among us a number of pups who don’t identify with leather at all. A large percentage of us are more into rubber or other non-leather gear, and pups who aren’t into any kink or fetish beyond pup play. Many are comfortable being just on the fringe of the leather & fetish world, and that is perfectly fine.

But there are those who are interested in learning more and opening the door to make those connections. And there are those on the other side of that door trying to learn more about us. That is where it can all begin to come together.

Granted, the world of leather and fetish can seem a little daunting to the unknowing outsider looking in. Even though the leather mystique that’s been built up has been rendered somewhat translucent with the advent of social networking, there’s still a lot to navigate. Fortunately, for us pups, making the connection from our community to the broader leather & fetish world can be a little easier because, in some ways, we already are part of it.

There are a number of ways in which the puppy world isn’t so different from the broader leather and fetish community. Ways that actually bring us into the circle. True, many of these are more subtle than we realize, but some are quantifiable. For starters, pup play is widely viewed as a kink or fetish, even if our individual definitions for being pups go beyond that. We flag our interests as pups in ways comparable to how leatherfolk communicate their interests. We use the same hanky code, just that ours often include chew toys or other pup-related items. For many of us, our fetish and kink interests include more than just puppy play, same as our brothers and sisters in the broader community. Our pup/handler relationships have a number of parallels to and overlaps with the D/s relationships found among some leatherfolk. Our gear interests are mirrored all throughout the wider community.

True, these commonalities are only a start, but they might help alleviate some of the sharper apprehensions among newer pups when it comes to the leather world. Because these are more than just similarities. These are the ways in which we already are part of the whole. And, if knowing that can ease concerns even if only slightly, it becomes that much easier to make the next step.

That step is learning to navigate the differences. And these are where both sides continue to come together, hopefully to learn and exchange ideas and to mutually grow.  Fortunately, all it takes is respect, patience, and a willingness to learn. There’s a lot that can be learned just by watching – and watching can often give rise to the questions we want to ask to understand better. There are a lot of excellent resources out there, in print or in person. Quite often the experiences of one can resonate with someone else and open entirely new vistas for growth. And the more we learn as individuals and share amongst ourselves as a group, the more we all learn and grow.

Do we, the puppy world, need to fit in? No, we don't need to fit in. But there are advantages to not being completely separate. Again, many of our roots lie in the leather world, even if the spirit of pup play itself has grown and taken on new depth over the years. However, there remains still a lot of misunderstanding of where we've come from and what we've become, and by being connected we can overcome that.  Many pups and handlers find their way to us through the leather & fetish community. Still, it’s just as important that we keep that identity which defines us as the puppy world. We can find a respected place in the broader scene, but we need to be respected just as much for who and what we are. Even if, over time, the two converge even more, we also need to always be proud of ourselves as pups.

IPC 2014 Article

From the Great Lakes Den newspapaer:

Pup Tripp Wins International Puppy 2014

by Tyger • November 12, 2013

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. – This past weekend was the International Puppy Contest and Florida Leather -n- Fetish Pride at the Flamingo Resort  and so much fun was had by all!

The weekend kicked off with many arriving Thursday or early Friday for some social time, seeing old friends and making new ones. Weather was perfect for the weekend and many spent time sitting by the pool or playing in it. The layout of the Flamingo Resort made it possible for several vendors to set up booths around the pool with everything from flogs, whips, dungeon kits and more to some very kinky Christmas ornaments. The Tampa Leather Club hosted an amazing dungeon as usual.

The weekend’s festivities kicked off Friday night with the raising of the US and Canadian flags and the National Anthems representing the contestants’ home countries. The staff for Leather -n- Fetish Pride, International Puppy and judges were introduced. After the four contestants were presented. This year competing for the title was Pup Hercules, Midwest Puppy 2012; Pup Amp, SEA-PAH; Pup Tripp, Mid Atlantic Kennel Klub; and Pup Ego, Toronto Puppy 2013. Once the formalities were done it was time for fun with social time and meet and greet.

Saturday was the “main event” starting off with the puppy photo shoot and then interviews. During interviews a number of demos were offered to keep everyone busy ending with Papa Woof Roth and Puppy Boo going Puppy 101.

After the afternoon’s activities wrapped up it was time for the Puppy Obstacle Course. A good turnout of pups showing up to compete and it definitely kept the audience amused. The pups all had amazing times showing that no matter what age or body type everyone could have fun. Pup Hercules was the winner with a time of just over 17 seconds! After the event it was time for a dinner break and everyone preparing for the main event!

The on stage portion of the contest kicked off with introductions and the Tampa Bay Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence doing the blessing for the evening. The Bill (Trooper) Boyd “Best in Show” award was presented to Pup Ego for his true spirit of being a puppy. Kamden Cass did a couple amazing numbers to entertain the crowd and then things really got going. First off were intros and speeches with all four contestants giving a very strong showing and looking amazing in their gear. Next up was the puppy play portion with each contestant showing their stuff with Pup Cruz serving as playmate. They chose some puppy toys from a bag full on stage (yes, some chose to shred the bag) at the end of things, Pup Tripp took the honors of International Puppy 2014 and Pup Amp was 1st runner up. It was a very close field and all the contestants should be proud. Slavepup Axel did a very moving step-down speech as he relinquished his International Puppy title. It was also announced that this was the last International Puppy Contest to be held at the Flamingo and that the contest was moving to Saint Louis and the Bad Dog Bar & Grill on July 17-20, 2014.

Sunday started with the Mama’s Family photo and the Puppy Family photo and then everyone was off to the Victory Brunch. During brunch, the “Good Puppy” award for the weekend was presented to Pup Sprocket from Toronto and “Good Puppy of the Year” was presented to Pup Jaeger. It was announced that Pup Gadget and Pup Jaeger would be the Western and Eastern International Puppy Liaisons and work with groups and events helping them get things rolling! Slavepup Axel was named Contestant Liaison and would work with not only the IPC titleholders but also other titleholders when they have questions or need guidance. The final big announcement was that Papa Woof Roth was being made one of the Co-Owners of International Puppy with the move to Saint Louis. The rest of the afternoon was spent enjoying the beautiful weather and the Tea Dance.

http://www.greatlakesden.net/pup-tripp-wins-international-puppy-2014/

Speech from International Puppy contest

I've been asked to share my speech from the International Puppy contest. The recording of it didn't work out very well, so I'm putting up what I originally laid out. It didn't come out quite the same way onstage, but pretty close, and the point was still there.


Good evening Friends, Pups & Handlers, Honored Judges

If I could have one wish, it would be to have my pupbrother Timber here with us. He was a pup long before we came together as we now are, and he would be so proud to see what we've become.

Timber was more than a friend or brother. He was an inspiration. Just by being himself, he taught me that I could embrace and be proud of my own inner pup. More importantly, he taught me that you don't have to be down on all fours to be a pup 24/7. What matters is what's in your heart.

That's the gift he gave me, and it's one I try to share wherever I go. Not just with other pups, but with the entire community. That it's not what we look like or what we wear. Not even how we play. It's about being proud of what we are.

So to my pupbrothers and sisters, I say this. Lift your heads and howl. Howl from your hearts. Listen to it and feel it. Because THAT is the sound - and power - of puppy pride!

Thank you

Dad, Never Forgotten

In Memory of My Dad - from his Memorial Service Held Sunday, November 3, 2013

The Lion King - Endless Night

A Letter to Dad

Dad,

I was already a teen when we met. You didn't get to watch as I grew up as a child. You didn't get to see my first steps. You didn't get to bandage my scraped knees or brush away a little boy's tears. You didn't get to guide me as I rode a bike for the first time and tell me you had me, that I wasn't going to fall.

You were there as the teen grew into a man. You were there as I took my first steps into a big new world. You were there as I endured the bumps and bruises of an adult in the world. You saw me off on my journey and, in your own way, let me know you had me, that I wasn't going to fall.

In time it became my turn to help with your steps. I stood beside you to be the guiding shoulder you could lean on. It was my turn to be strong for you in a world less steady. The man came home to be the firm arm you could hold. And I always told you I had you, that I wasn't going to let you fall.

You've gone to another world now, Dad, where others are waiting to take you by the hand. And, although I have to watch you go, I know I don't have to fear.

They've got you, Dad. And this time, you're going to fly.

The Forgotten Child

THE FORGOTTEN CHILD  by Rick Hutchings (1996)   I feel I should preface this particular poem with a note. The Forgotten Child does not reflect my own coming out experience. However, I have witnessed the pain of others who have faced the experiences this poem speaks of. Therefore, this poem is dedicated to all those whose honesty was greeted by rejection.

You looked upon me as I lay in my crib
Your baby, so helpless and small
With love's shining eyes
a heart's warmth freely given
I was your child

 

You watched me; you held me
My tears and smiles your own
We laughed and we played
We cried and we prayed
I was your child

 

Parent and child, together we grew
Through love you showed me the world
The hopes that you shared
Showed my future prepared
I was your child

 

When my goals became different
You gave me room to grow
For the child will fall
To the adolescent's call
Still, I was your child

 

One difference in me brooks no refute
A truth I cannot deny
I thought you would see
That I was still me
That I was still your child

 

How then has it happened?
Why do I now stand alone?
Because I chose to reveal
Who I am, what I feel?
Have you forgotten your child?

 

What unforgivable wrong have I done
     that has left me cast away?
Or is there no longer room in your heart
     for me - your child - who is gay?

 

I am who I was, and always will be
     the child you held by the hand
But now I can see, you look upon me
     as a stranger you don't understand

 

You taught me the value of telling the truth
     of honesty right from the start
And yet that I've chosen to tell you the truth
     we now stand worlds apart

 

There's a pain that rages deep in my heart
     sorrows more bitter than you know
You turned me away because I am gay
    you want me - your child - to go

 

How quickly it was you seemed to forget
The happiness we shared
When truth became told
Your hearts became cold
Was I not your child?

Together we stood as a family
Until I learned who I was
Now with trust lying broken
These words go unspoken
I am your child!

I am your child!

I Am a Pup...

I am a PUP.

 

I am a HUMAN person who has the energy of and sometimes behaves like a CANINE person.

 

I am not a freak who thinks they're a dog. I’m a person who recognizes and expresses a deep part of myself that behaves and responds that way.

 

It doesn’t matter how I look on the outside. The things that make me a pup all come from within.

 

I am not necessarily a submissive. Even if I am, unless I’m wearing your collar, I am not YOUR submissive.

 

I do not have to be down on all fours to be a pup.  But if I am…

 

If you want to approach me and don’t know how, "introduce" yourself. Approach me like you would a bio dog: hand down for me to sniff. If I am being handled or watched by someone, ask them first.

 

Belly rubs and ear scritches are almost always welcome. But, remember, please introduce yourself.

If I’m down on all fours and clearly in some kind of pup headspace, please don’t ask me questions or try to have a conversation with me. Beyond barking for “Yes” or “No,” I probably won’t be able to answer.

 

Do not attempt to feed me real dog biscuits or treats. They are just as bad for me as they are for you.

If you want to give me a treat, make sure it’s something I can have.  Again, ask first. If you don’t see a hander – or if I don’t have one – think twice before offering. I may have allergies you don’t know about.

 

I am not public property for you to poke, prod, yank, spank or otherwise treat disrespectfully.

 

My tail (if I have one) is not there for your amusement. It is there to add to my experience as a pup. To pull on it or otherwise play with it is both disrespectful and physically dangerous.

 

If I growl at you, I have a reason. Stop doing whatever it was that made me growl. I don’t like it.

 

If I yip and wag my tail, then I am a happy pup. Either that, or you have my chewy toy and I want to play!

Going Forward With a Look Back

It's been no secret that I've been pummeled the last couple months at work with a bad situation that has yet to see resolution. Add to it the frenzied final preparations for Metro Leather Pride and the packed schedule for this fall, it really only makes sense that I've had some occasional moments of feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes I can only wonder how I manage to stay astride of it all. Having the support of my husband and my boy and such good friends has gone along way.

But sometimes through it all I've found a part of myself missing the safety net that came with being a collared pup. That feeling of everything being okay just by Mister's voice or a glance at the collar in the mirror.

Part of it comes from having recently found the camo chew toy Mister J gave me way back when he first took me as his pup. I was so excited when I found it. I thought I'd lost it forever somewhere along the way. As much as I love my leather bone chewie, The camo rope is so much more special. And finding it brought back a flood of good memories. I've since kept it close at paw, just to draw much-needed strength. Silly? Maybe, but it's helped more than I can say.

It's not that I want to go back to that time or to re-enter service as Mister J's pup. I know I can't go back. Nor do I want to give up what I now have. I'm in a good place with my boy and in my journey. I wouldn't give up either for any collar.

It's enough to just remember. There have been other times when Mister J's gentle guidance (or that stern look and reminder) have come into my mind and gotten me through. I've said before - and will always believe - that part of me will always be His Pup Tripp. So much of what I am today is due to what I was given from Mister J.

And it's good to remember. that, while I'm now Sir to one and addressed as such by others at their preference, my roots as a collared pup are still there. Far better is it to look forward knowing what's been than to turn a blind eye on what's gone into making me who and what I am today.

So, once again, thank you, Mister J.

Becoming Pup Tripp

I don’t think anyone who knows me doubts the passion with which I approach and represent the pup community. In the years since I finally connected with my own inner pup, it has been one of my primary driving forces in terms of service to and involvement in the leather/kink community as a whole. During the three years when I was collared under Mister J, it was as His pup, and it was the conduit through which my heartfelt service was given. All of it with that same driving passion.

To understand it, and why that passion always burns so strongly, I have to go back to my earliest days in the leather/kink community. It was in that very first year, when I was collared as a slave, that I had my initial encounter with pup play and the Handler/pup dynamic. At Southeast Leather Fest 2002 I met Master Skip and his Alpha Pup Tim. A week later, at Folsom East in NYC, I encountered others. These struck a deep chord within me, one that never quieted once awakened. However, my Sir at the time seemed anti-pup and, therefore, I never explored or spoke up about it.

When that relationship ended in 2003, I soon moved on to join the DC boys of Leather. Here were people with whom I identified as a submissive, and I quickly bonded with them. It was more than friendship, but a brotherhood and a home where I felt safe. Where I felt I belonged and could be proud. It opened doorways into a world where I could feel and be so much a part rather than apart.

But the inner pup was still there. It just didn’t have a way out. Even though one of my club brothers was a pup, my own still stayed curled up deep inside. I see now that it was only because we didn’t have anything geared specifically to pups, and there were too few in the area. I know now there were some attempts to make that happen, but they never came to fruition. And, more to the point, there was still something that held me back.

I travelled a lot during these intervening years, and I encountered others of like heart. Those travels were related more to representing the DCboL or our community, and my focus was primarily there. The inner pup looked up an awful lot, enough for me to feel that energy connection.

A time finally came, though, when we numbered a few more pups among the boys. During the summer of 2007 we had at least four. I felt the connection more strongly than ever, and for the first time I actually got to talk about it. All it needed was one more push.

That came at Mid-Atlantic Leather, January 2008. In the cigar tent with a Sir whom I hold in high esteem and his pup, a boot-licking session and romp brought out my inner pup in full. To this day I still don’t really know what triggered it.  All I know is that I pupped out completely and, 45 minutes later, Sir Jason was bringing me out. And when he asked me how it felt, the very first word that came to mind was: NATURAL. I felt and knew I had found a very deep part of myself. A part that had wanted out for so very long, but I hadn’t known how to reach it. That first experience was so liberating!

I wish I could say I ran with it right away, but I didn’t. As I got further removed from that moment, I became unsure and embarrassed. I was afraid to sow it in front of my club brothers or anyone else. Silly, I know, but it was there.

Then came Olympia 2008. The DC boys hosted their 101 Dalmatians cocktail as part of the weekend festivities. For the very first time I pupped out in front of my club brothers and friends in the community. And I knew right away I had been wrong to hold the pup inside. They were so happy for me and supportive. I recall taking a quiet moment because I felt so happy and overwhelmed.  From then on, there was no closing off the inner pup from the rest of my life or myself. Pup Puddles (my first name) was out to stay.

And, one year after my very first pupping out experience, I was collared by Mister J at MAL 2009 as His pup. Soon thereafter he renamed me Tripp. And, if I was active in the wider community before that, my involvement and passion only grew from that time on. Mister J recognized my drive and passion as equal to his own, and he encouraged me to channel it into doing more as a pup for pups and our emerging segment of the community.

That eventually led to the founding of the Mid-Atlantic Kennel Korps (originally called the DC K9 Korps).

As much as I enjoyed my service to the boys, and as sincere as that service was, it’s my service to and involvement with the pup community that has taken me to new heights. Not just as a founder of a club for pups and handlers, but by being alongside so many who share that same energy that defines us and brings us together.

And that passion now goes into representing and doing my part for the pup community. To do my part so that others can find what I’ve found. To do what I can to show that we’re just as much a part of the communal whole.

Sometimes I look back and wonder why it took so long. But I know it had to happen in its own time, and I wouldn’t change it.