Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The Stranger Awakes

THE STRANGER AWAKES
 
Beyond the nearing horizon 
 Lies a dream that never sleeps
A wave of vision in my mind
Into my waking world creeps

The dream takes shape before my eyes
Its shadow a wish I fear  
Unfolding into what is real
And to truth I fear to hear

Before my eyes, a man I know
Yet a stranger I fear to see
For I have looked into my soul
And I know the stranger is me

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

To the DC boys of Leather


Sometimes moments of reflection come when we least expect them.  Maybe that’s a good thing, at least for me, because usually my mind goes quite a ways down whichever road before I realize where I’ve actually gone and I’m left with some substantial thoughts to ponder.

Right now, it’s thinking about all who have helped bring me to where I now am in my own journey. And among all the people and groups, one group stands out above all the rest:

The DC boys of Leather. 

It’s through the DC boys that I went from a very quiet novice leatherboy to the transitioning Alpha pup I am today.  So many of the people I've come to know, so many of those who've walked with me or given me wisdom and courage, I met through the DC boys.

I honestly can’t fathom where I would be without the club and, more importantly, these boys I’ve come to call – and am proud to call – brothers. It doesn’t seem possible that I’m entering my tenth year as a member of the DC boys, and yet it is. I was a pledge in the summer of 2003, voted in as a brother that following November.  One of the four remaining in the first pledge class.

Yet I can still remember it clearly.  I remember meeting Ky at Olympia in 2002, soon after I met Mikey Miller and Gene.  I still blame the three of them for getting me into this! OK, they didn’t do anything except be themselves and show me what potential could be found in the world of leather boys.  Truth is, they opened a door for me; one that I stepped through and then barely looked back at for awhile. 

When I met all three of them at the Cigar & Brandy social hosted by Mary Elizabeth Boyd during ABW 2003, I really felt the draw to the DCboL. On some level I identified with the energy they displayed as club brothers and as boys. That was when I knew I wanted to be a part of the DC boys of Leather.

Man, I was so excited to be accepted as a pledge. Energized as a pledge. And when I received my backpatch? I was so proud and elated to at last be part of it.  Heck, even today I’ll look at that well-travelled club vest and remember how I felt the first time I saw that patch on leather.

It’s been one hell of a trip since then.  Mikey Miller had plans for us new members, getting us involved to take some of the stress of the longer-serving brothers.  Plans that put us on the E-board.  Funny that it all came to pass!  In June 2004, I was elected V-P after little more than 7 months in the club. Some on the outside said I was fool to take that on so early.  But it began two years of an incredible team under Ky’s presidency, the first half of an incredible four-year high, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

But there was another event in 2004 that proved just as pivotal: I stepped in as the DC boys’ AMCC rep.  In March 2004 I attended my first AMCC meeting at a Long Island Ravens’ run.  I was so scared going into that!  I hardly knew anyone there. But I made some lasting friendships, opened doors that I didn’t realize until later.  In fact, my involvement as the club’s AMCC rep alone has been one hell of a trip in itself! 

If my 2 years as Ky’s veep were the first half of a 4-year high, my first 2 years as DCboL president were the other half.  I’ll let others judge the worth and impact of those 2 year (as well as the 3rd). I know the friendships and community relationships I forged during those years contributed to my growth in ways I’m still realizing. For me, they were fun, filled with challenges and, more importantly, countless opportunities to meet the people who make our leather tribe the diverse and vital family it really is. I gave the best I had to offer as president, but I think I gained even more.

Of course, I also know now that those few times I thought I had the brothers convinced I knew what I was doing, they were just smiling and thinking, “Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure!”  I recall that when I was re-elected for the 2nd year, I thanked them for trusting me even if I didn’t always trust myself.  Sometimes I wondered why they did at all. But I know now that, by doing so, they lifted me up to where I needed to be.

When I think on that, I see that all the nods of appreciation, the awards and honors – while I value each and every one of them – pale in comparison to the knowledge that my brothers trusted me and had my back every step of the way.

I’m lucky that I’ve never been at odds with any of my club brothers over these last 9 years.  I’ve shared laughs and fun with all them.  I’ve been a shoulder for many to cry on, and I’ve cried on more than one. I miss so many that have come and gone – and those we’ve lost. They are my friends, my brothers, and, in ways I can't fully describe, my family

“Thank you” doesn’t seem nearly enough to express how grateful I am for all you’ve given me. Being with you is the adventure of a lifetime, and one that I wouldn't trade for anything. I’m still proud of that backpatch, but that’s nothing compared to being able to point at any of you wearing it and saying “You’re my brother.”

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Political Motto

So long as some insist on imposing religious doctrine as rule of law, there will never be liberty and justice for all.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

After CLAW, Part II


In still reflecting on this past weekend at CLAW 11, I realize that there are so many I want to thank for making it the incredibly fantastic weekend that it was.  Without them, it would have just been a trip to another leather gathering; each of them contributed something to making it so much more. I know I'm going to forget someone, and I apologize if I do.

I want to start with the Ohio boys of Leather (Johnny, boy Greg, boy Tom, Rocky) for letting me join you for their Java boys coffee service.  What a way to start the days!  It was a blast and I’d love to do it again. 

To my friends Joe Aiello and Jed Ryan – always great seeing both of you. Maybe I should model more often.

To Robert VanNess (aka beaniepup) – having you as a pup brother is an honor.  Coffee service with you was made that much more fun.

Darren - I don't get to see you often enough! As I've said, I'm so happy for you - for both of you! 

To Chris Roth and his Puppy Boo for all you did to make the pups happy and bring us all together.

Jeremy Morris (Mr. Iowa Leather) – always fun to see you and the added Sunday morning pounce was awesome. You did a great job as Table Captain too! ARF ARF!!

Mama Sandy Reinhardt - Seeing you is always a pleasure. But an extra thank you this time for being in the right place at the right moment.

CB Kirby - WOOF!  I'm going to make it to NYC for Puppy Night, I promise!

Piglet - Just for being you! Any time you want to romp with the pups, go right ahead and do it!

Pup Achilles - Glad we got some time together in the mosh.  

My brother boy john Urso – there aren’t enough words for it all and to Sir John for caring.

My beta, pup Zinger, for my first outing as a handler. 

To Roger (aka Sox), it was great being with you for your first CLAW and thanks for trusting me to be your handler for a night.

Tom Buckley, I can’t thank you enough for everything you did for me this weekend.  You held me up when I needed it most and booted my ass through a door I needed to pass through. I knew going into the weekend you were a true friend; I have a renewed appreciation for how deep that goes.

There is one other person I want to thank, and this one wasn’t actually there.  Or, rather, he wasn’t there physically but definitely in spirit – Mister J.  Three years of service given and lessons learned don’t get forgotten, even if they might be temporarily eclipsed by unresolved hurt and confusion.  I came perilously close to an edge that your voice pulled me back from. You were there one more time when Pup Tripp needed that guiding hand, and for that I can’t ever thank you enough.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

After CLAW, Part I


CLAW 11 has ended.  I’m back home, but much of the intensity is still with me.  There’s a lot for me to yet sift through, feelings and thoughts to be considered.  It won’t all be easy; I’m pretty sure it will all be for the good in the end.

I went into this, my 2nd CLAW, with high expectations.  I was in no way disappointed.  It was great to see and spend time with friends I don’t often get to see, and that I got to make a few new ones along the way makes it that much better. CLAW is one of those events where I get reminded time and again how blessed I am to be part of the leather tribe, and it’s an awesome feeling.

I was especially looking forward to meeting up with my brother pups and the handlers/trainers.  Our pup community was well represented.  The Puppy Olympixxx and the moshes were greatly anticipated.  This year, though, it wasn’t just from looking forward to playtime as a pup, but knowing that I’d be taking the role of alpha and handler. I’ve stood poised on that threshold for a while now, and for the first time I was really stepping into that space.

It was way more than I expected.  I’m still trying to find the words to describe how it felt. There was something empowering in knowing that the pups (yes, more than one) in my care trusted me enough to go into whatever level of pupspace they reached. Something powerful in being able to empathize with them as pups while still keeping a focal center. Something fulfilling in knowing I was responsible for keeping th m well and keeping them safe.  Was it fun?  Yes.  But the fun isn’t what stays with me.  It’s the way it just felt so natural to be there.

I’m beginning to get a clearer idea of where I want to go now.  I know I’m not quite ready for it though.  There are things I still have to work through, focus to be regained.  There are questions to ask and to be answered.  But I know now that I CAN go forward, and that's the most liberating feeling of all.