Happy 2013!

In taking a few minutes to look back over 2012, it’s immediately clear that it has been one hell of a year. There was the good and the bad, the hard times and the easy ones. But, all in all, 2012 was a good year.

This time, a year ago, I was recovering from a flu picked up while in NY for the Xmas holiday. Even more difficult, I was saddened by the unexpected passing on not one, but two very dear friends – Jeff Cheeseman and Wayne Himes. I remember not really wanting to ring in the New Year, but I knew that being with my friends would be the wiser choice. And so glad I did.  I was able to greet 2012 with a smile, a hug from my Mister, and a big kiss from my husband.

In looking at the good in 2012, I have to start with my hubby. Thinking about Ken always makes me feel bubbly. In 2012 we celebrated 13 years of being together, as well as the 2^nd anniversary of our wedding. No matter where I wander to in my travels in the community, I know he’s always ready to have his huspup hurry back to him. I’m looking forward to welcoming another New Year with him, and many more besides.

The other thing that jumps out here, though, is mingled with a not-so-good that turned out way more than I would have thought. Like I said, I began 2012 collared as Mister J’s pup. But a difficult parting of the ways came about in March. I’d be less than honest if I said there isn’t still a pang of disappointment still inside. But I still carry the valuable things Mister J taught me, I still have a great friend and a mentor, and I have 3+ years to look back on fondly.

And further still, it proved a pivotal point in my growth and a step toward the collaring of boy Tom as my own boy in November. Yes, many who know us saw this coming for awhile. In 2012 it happened, and I am very glad it did.  To have Ken welcome it as openly as he has only reinforces the course and decisions that brought us to where we are.

I hated saying farewell to my beta pup in September when he moved across the country in September. But I wish him nothing but the best. And, besides, we’ll be seeing each other here and there (MAL!).

I definitely logged some miles in 2012. Trips to Long Island for a Ravens run in March (beware the evil midget!), CLAW in April, NYC in June, upstate NY in July, several jaunts to Philly, Olympia, a second trip to Ogunquit in October (with a Boston adventure along the way), and ending in November with a trip to Tampa. But it was all fun spent with great friends. I think if I told my car “New York City,” it would know to swing through Harrisburg first and then navigate to Coyote’s!

Of the many fun events I made it to in 2012, the ones that stand out are CLAW and International Puppy. And that is because it was at those two events were I forged even stronger links with my brother pups and the pup community. CLAW has the added element that it was there where I first took on the role of handler – which it’s fair to say contributed in a big way to my collaring boy Tom. I walked away from those two events better for what I got just by being there.

  

So, 2012 has only hours left to it. 2013 will be coming in, filled with new challenges and adventures, the good and the bad, the “Oh, yeahs!” and the “WTFs?!?!” But I’m looking forward to it.

A Handler Named Pup

 I think the most frequent “question” that seems to pop up since collaring boy tom is whether or not I consider myself a Sir now.  Truth be told, I kind of expected something like this. But it wasn’t until recently that I knew how I’d be able to answer it. Even when boy tom first asked me how I should be addressed, I wasn't quite sure.

Thankfully, I got passed that moment of awkwardness. I was fortunate to be able to draw from the wisdom of a few people whom I greatly respect.

Quite simply, I’m “Sir” to boy tom only.  I’m not anyone else’s Sir. I don’t suddenly expect everyone should see me as a Sir or call me one. I’m not going to go out and buy myself a Sir’s cover.  I do take it as a compliment when people choose to call me “Sir” or observe that they view me in a slightly different light than previously. I know it’s meant with respect and I receive it respectfully.

But I know that, inside, I’m still Pup Tripp. I’m still that playful, mischievous alpha pup with the very recognizable bark. I’m still Ken’s huspup. I’m still part of this great community we have – and still consider myself fortunate and blessed to be a part of it. I’m the same person who can look back over where he’s been, see how he’s grown, and accept that it ain’t finished yet.

Have I changed? Yes, I have.  We all do.  Fortunately, I have friends and family (not necessarily bio) that help me keep it all in perspective. From Chris "Woof" Roth using the term "Switch-Pup" to boy scooter reminding me that I still have a place among the DC boys regardless, it was made easier to keep everything in check and remain myself.

So, to those who aren’t sure, just remember, I’m still Pup Tripp. Come what may, and wherever my path may take me, I’m pretty sure that’s one of things that will remain constant.

Thank You, Puppies

I went into the International Puppy contest knowing I'd have an enjoyable experience, and that I'd learn a few things along the way. But I really wasn't expecting the magnitude of what I brought away from the whole thing. My pup brothers, those who were competing and those who were there to support, all gave me something more valuable than I can say.

I got to reconnect with some pups I haven't seen in awhile, I got to meet some pups whom I'd only come to know over Facebook, and I encountered one or two for the very first time. And we all seemed to share that same pup energy!

I have to say, I'm glad there were only 5 pup contestants. All that pup energy during the interviews was making me want to get down there and play! Fortunately, I got to do just that right after all the interviews were concluded.

The last few weeks - months - have been a defining period for me, especially since leaving Mister J's service in March and again with the development of a D/s relationship between myself and boy tom. And, as I've said elsewhere and more than once, my perceptions of myself are changing even as I discover new things within me and continue my own journey. I came away from this weekend with a renewwed sense of validation and connection and assurance that it's all been for the good.

I was so fortunate that, last week, boy tom gave me a chance to find that I can comfortable both pup and Dom. And, this weekend, I got to re-discover where I still fit in among my pup brothers (and not just on the bottom).

Woof Roth used the term "switch pup" to describe me during the Pup 101 session on Saturday. I don't know if my expression reflected my reaction, but something about that clicked and made sense.

As much as I've bonded with other pups over the last 5 years, and as much as I've come to love and be involved in our pup community, there was just something extra about it all this weekend. I've really noticed that, for me anyway, no two moshes or pup play sessions are the same. This weekend in Tampa was no different, and I'm glad I got to be part of it.

If any one thing was reinforced through it all, it was that we pups and our handlers are forging a strong community of our own; one that has bonded well and fits within the greater leather and kink community. Knowing I'm part of it is both invigorating and rewarding in and of itself.

I'm not sure I can thank you all enough - not just for the weekend fun - but for what I took with me when it was done.

Thank you, boy tom

What a weekend! I have to hand it to the guys at COMMAND MC for putting together a great anniversary celebration. And I have to thank them for the honor of being invited to the judges’ panel for Mr. Maryland Leather 2013 (I filled in for Daddy Tim, who couldn’t make it down). It was more than I expected, getting to be part of such a great group of people and getting to meet two excellent contestants.

Yet, as awesome as all of that was, it still pales compared to the first public outing with my boy, boy tom.

We’ve been exploring a D/s relationship between us for a few weeks now, but pretty much keeping it low key. As MML drew closer, though, we realized this would be the first time we’d be out there in full public view. We talked it through at length and agreed we were ready. And, out of respect, there were a few who were told in advance (Mister J as my former Mister, SIR John as tom’s guardian, Sir Len as tom’s former Sir, and my husband Ken who has been privy to this all along).

I’m happy to say we had and have the support of all four. 

More than a couple heads were turned when they realized that boy tom was in service to me, and a couple times we had to explain how this has evolved (some remember tom acting as my handler during pup play).  The majority, though, seemed to be expecting us to reach this point. Go figure.

I will say that, getting closer to the weekend, I was a little skittish about it. At first glance, it seemed like one thing when it’s quietly developing, but another when out there for all to see. But as Friday drew closer, I realized it didn’t have to be. I actually began to look forward to the weekend even more – and actually hoped being asked to step in as a judge wouldn’t diminish what I and boy tom were both anticipating.

I won’t presume to speak for how the boy feels, but I found the time and experience in no way diminished. I found myself feeling proud to have him as my boy.  More importantly, I felt lucky to have him in service to me. To see the gleam in his eyes whenever he did something for me – and when I thanked him for it - was both rewarding and grounding.

Yes, I hated it just as much removing the collar at the end of the weekend. I’d like to see something stay there longer term, but we have to agree on what that means to us and where it will fit in with other things in our lives. Somehow, I suspect we’ll reach that agreement. 

To boy tom, I can’t thank you enough. Not only for the service which you provided me this weekend, but for the chance to learn more and to take yet another step.  One of the most important things you showed me is that I can still be Pup and Dom at the same time – that was a harder thing to bridge than I let on. Just as importantly, with quiet grace you let me make my stumbles so I could learn from them. I cannot say how much that means to me.

Almost Nine Years as an AMCC rep...

One of the things about long road trips is that they afford you time to think on things that might not ordinarily cross your mind. This past weekend, Steve and I drove up to Ogunquit, Maine, and back for the Harbor Masters’ 30^th Anniversary weekend, and the AMCC meeting being hosted by that club. As is always the case with us, the drive itself was an adventure to be remembered, but the quiet times offered up a lot of value, too.

I found myself thinking back to my first AMCC meeting as the DC boys of Leather rep. That was March, 2004, at the Long Island Ravens 12^th Anniversary run. I ended up going mainly because no one else in the club was free that particular weekend, and Gene (the sitting DCboL president at the time) asked me if I’d go. I was a little skittish about it, but agreed to it anyway.  So, off I went, with instructions from my club on how to vote on a particular matter.

People will often ask me what benefits can be had from involvement in AMCC. And I will first try to address that at a club level, since AMCC is an organization of clubs. But there is also the personal level, and I can speak to that with even more passion.

I still remember how awkward I felt when I got to the hotel in Ronkonkoma that Saturday morning. I think the only person there I really knew was Steve. There were a few others with whom I was acquainted, enough to help me get passed the initial awkwardness. But there I was, quiet and more than a little detached, trying to figure out what the hell I was doing and why I was there with all these people.

Fortunately, they didn’t let me stay detached long.  The ice got broken. Different people drew me into different conversations. At the meeting itself, any skittishness was quickly dispelled by all the friendly guys I was meeting. By the time the formal dinner rolled around Saturday evening, I was having a blast, invited to sit with people I’d really just met. Before the weekend was over, I’d made some friendships that have proven to be long-lasting and more rewarding than I thought possible going into all of that.

How different would things be today if I hadn’t gone to the Long Island Ravens run to attend an AMCC meeting? I often jokingly say that it was the Ravens that corrupted me, but the truth is that it was there that I began to shed the quiet boy who stayed off to the side and become the active, more than slightly crazy leatherman I am today.

More than that, though, it’s the friendships and sense of community that I found through it all that have had such a deep and lasting impact on me. That weekend in March 2004 opened the way to a series of experiences that brought for me a lot of growth and chance. From there, through the Centaurs Olympia in September 2004, the DC boys’ 5^th anniversary weekend in Rehoboth, and culminating with the AMCC meeting and harbor cruise dinner hosted by Empire City MC in October 2004 (their 40^th anniversary). By the time I made it to another AMCC meeting in Philly on New Years’ Day 2005, I felt like part of the whole.

And now – nearly 9 years later, I look back and I see a path filled with rich friendships and experiences. What do I get from AMCC? OK, the meetings can be blah. But these weekends aren’t about the meetings. They aren’t even about the parties and the cocktails. These weekends are about friends and – in a sense – family. Some of the people I’ve come to know over these years are more than just friends. The relationships I’ve built with all of them are what make the “work” I do through and on behalf of AMCC so enjoyable. They’re what contribute to the great memories I’ve come to cherish.

A bunch of us sitting in the hospitality suite at a Pennsmen run. We chose to stay there rather than go to the bar. What happened next was a tickle scene resulting in a chair flying across a room.  Oh, and the beginnings of a little group called the ButtMunchkins.

Twenty-seven of us from the DC/Baltimore leather community on the same flight out of BWI to Portland for the Harbor Masters 25^th.

I still think NePA planned that fire alarm to have the Scranton Fire Dept to welcome us to their run.

The Philadelphians and the Scream Girl eye openers at Tri-Cen.  9:00 am is way too early for orange chiffon!

July 2009 - the DC boys of Leather 10th Anniversary in Washington. A number of us sitting on the porch of the hotel until almost 3:30 am, just laughing and carrying on like nothing else was going on in the world.

Olympia 2010 and the plannings of the Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory cocktail at the LI Ravens in 2011 – which won both the best and worst cocktail of the run awards. I’ll never look at an Oompa Lompa the same way again, that’s all I’m sayin’! And believe me, Tootsie Rolls and bubble machines do NOT go together.

This isn’t meant to be a plug for AMCC. Besides, like I said, AMCC is first and foremost there for the clubs. But the clubs are all made up of people, and each person takes away his or her own experiences and has his or her own perspective. Those combined are what make us, as a whole, so dynamic. This just happens to be mine. And much of what I have gotten on a personal level I brought back to back to my club.

I can only hope I’ve managed to give them some of what I’ve gotten out of all of it so far.

Readiness

How does someone ever really know they’re ready to take the Dom role and take on a sub (in my case, a boy or service pup)? As I’ve been experiencing growth and change in this area, it’s a question that’s come to mind from time to time, one that was more than a little daunting at first.

Now? Oddly enough, it knocks me away from the complacent zone and reminds me that further growth demands a certain level of discomfort. Challenge should never be comfortable, and growth is nigh on impossible without challenge.

At this time, I can say that there is a boy interested in me as a Dom. A boy who likes to pup out, so that makes it an added bonus in to me. At first I was taken a little aback that this boy would come to see me this way.  The more I look at the last few months, though, I can see that there were subtle signs.  I’m glad I caught one somewhat subtle sign, as that opened the door. The boy is someone I’ve known for awhile and long ago came to respect. Someone whom I’ve come to know embodies many traits I relate to from my own experiences as a leatherboy.

Fortunately, for both of us, there are distinct differences in what he brings to being a leatherboy and my own experiences. Truth be told, I wouldn’t want someone exactly like me.  I know I have a long way to go as a Dom, and I’ll need the challenge of those differences for that growth to happen. Just as fortunate, I have others to whom I can turn for guidance as needed.

So, am I ready? I’m ready to begin exploring the next step, knowing this is one that can’t be taken alone. I’m ready to ask questions, not just of others for guidance, but of myself and of the boy for what we expect and where we see this going. I’m ready to be absolutely sure my husband is very much a part of this process. I’m ready to admit (and already admitting) that this is just as much training for me as a Dom as it will be for a boy under my care. I’m ready to be patient and open to ideas and concepts I haven’t considered.

The one thing I’m NOT is scared. I realized awhile ago there was no need to be.  Come what may, it promises to be interesting and revealing on many levels!