“Why so much hate and anger?”
“Can’t we all just get along?”
These, and questions like them are really making the rounds these days. Actually, they’re good questions. They spark debate and discussion; they draw attention to issues and problems we need to address. They draw light to the darker things plaguing our community.
One thing they absolutely should NOT be doing is coming as a surprise. Quite simply, there is nothing new about the problems and divisions we’re seeing today. Acting like the disagreements and divisiveness is something suddenly appearing serves only to undermine the magnitude of what it is we have to overcome.
Let’s face it, to us older folks, everything seemed better “back in the day.” We had more fun. There was a stronger sense of brotherhood and community. Hell, even the beer tasted better! Maybe in some ways it was better. Or maybe, for us older folks, we were too caught up in the excitement as newcomers to the world of leather and kink to notice that the golden days had a bit of tarnish to them.
With the advent of social media, however, the tarnish is a lot more noticeable. Things like Facebook have put the community’s problems and issues under a microscope. Before social media, it was whole lot easier for personal prejudices and BS social politics to pass unnoticed by the main. It was easier to go unchallenged. Now, do or say something wrong on the East Coast, and the West knows about it in 5 minutes. Where previously only a handful may see or know about something, now anyone in the community who’s connected will know – and has the platform to make known their opinion.
What’s changed isn’t the presence of problems and issues. It’s that it’s that now they're being seen more widely. It's that now more incidents are being reported - and people called out. And, with it being seen as widely as it is, that makes people uncomfortable - and no one likes feeling that way.
There has always been a generational divide. Not just in our community, but throughout society and down through the years. We’ve just cloaked it under the guise of “old guard vs new guard” so we can dig into indefensible positions and not have to hear or see the whole picture. We hide in deceptive comfort zones to avoid the continuum of time and evolution that defines our beliefs and traditions.
Generationalism is only the tip of our particular iceberg, though. There's a lot more beneath the surface.
Misogyny, racism, transphobia, biphobia, internalized homophobia, ageism… they’ve been there all along. How can anyone be surprised people who are subjected to those are no longer being silent? Shaming of all varieties (bottom-, slut-, body-, victim-, etc)…all ongoing issues. And again, can we be surprised that people are saying enough is enough?
We can’t afford to continue pretending any of this is new if we’re to truthfully and honestly address the issues. Older or newer, we need to not look back through proverbial rose-colored glasses. The community is now far too intricately inter-connected for that. Likewise, we need to remember that long-term problems aren’t usually solved with short-term fixes but rather take effort and dedication toward a lasting solution.
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