Maybe now that things are a little less scattered in my mind
I can begin to collect my thoughts. I tried several times yesterday. The words
were there, but I couldn’t get them to come out in any way that made sense.
Maybe it was that long stretch of road in front of us leading back to DC,
knowing it was taking me back to the every day world. That it meant another
CLAW was over and once again, I took away more than I brought with me.
It was definitely a great weekend. A weekend of catching up
with old friends and making new ones, of fun and good times, and of
opportunities to let loose my inner pup alongside my brother (and sister) pups.
A weekend of being surrounded by hot leathermen and kinksters. It passed so quickly, just like it always
does, and I’m again amazed that so much got packed into so short a span of
time.
And, yet, that same short span packs some potent seeds of
change and growth. Conversations that
spark ideas, insights from others over a drink and a cigar, the beginnings of
what I hope to be lasting friendships. There
are probably seeds I don’t even see yet. It’s a lot to sort through.
The thing that stands out most in my mind is watching at
least two pups and a couple of already close friends begin taking their first
steps into a larger world. Both have thanked me for being part of that, yet
they gave me something of equal importance. In being part of their experiences,
I got to see our community through new eyes again, to be reminded of where I’ve
been. By having the honor of being part
of that, they helped strengthen my connection to my own roots. To be given the
gift of such even grounding of myself is worth more than I can say.
I also got the chance to broaden my own horizons as a Dom to
my boy, to learn more about his wants and needs and – hopefully – how to
address them. Boy Tom and I communicate
very well, but there’s always room to learn and to grow. Both by direct communication
and seeing his interaction with others, I got a few more pieces of that picture
put in place.
I went into this weekend expecting an incredible experience.
My first two were rich and rewarding; I expected the same from my third. My
second saw me emotionally raw after being recently uncollared; this weekend
allowed me to experience it all on a more even-keel. Once again, I left CLAW
with far more than I arrived with (and not just from the vendor mart). I hope
the seeds that were planted bear rich fruit.
And I look forward to CLAW in 2014.
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