I guess it’s fair to say I’ve taken another step in my journey. While not necessarily a gigantic one, it’s one that cracks open a door into a different part of myself.
After careful thought and consideration – and a good deal of discussion amongst a few people, I have taken on the role of Alpha to boy zech (aka pup zinger). We’ve been clear that iIt’s not a D/s relationship. It’s an addition to what’s become an already strong friendship. It’s more of a mentoring, with me in a position of some authority (still deferring to restrictions from both Mister J and Zech’s Daddy, of course.) There’s no collaring involved (although he will receive a tag with his pup name on it). When he’s here, it puts him under my wing.
So, there will be a small element of consensual imbalance, but not anything near the degree that defines a D/s relationship.
Yes, I welcome this. It’s going to be a learning experience for both of us. It has the support of the key people around us (Ken, Mister J, Daddy John), as well as our friends who know. It’s not a sudden thing, either. I wasn’t surprised when Zech first asked – we’d kind of hit around it before anyway.
But, also, something about this scares the hell out of me. It’s not that I’m afraid this could damage a strong friendship. If I thought that likely, we wouldn’t be doing this. It’s from knowing I’m beginning to explore a new part of myself. One that I’ve kind of known was there – and have no idea what I’m supposed to do with.
But I can’t hide from that fear either. Guess it’s time to face it.
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