How odd it's been having to actually resist the urge to slip into pupspace. And, yet, I feel very deeply that I made the right choice to NOT take that retreat.
The situation that brought it all about really isn't the point here. Yes, it's a situation of extreme importance and one that demands attention and resolution. But I don't want it being the focus of what I'm writing at this time.
What IS relevant to all this was a reaction of my own. How, when things seemed at their most difficult and I felt like the world was caving in, I had a powerful urge to draw back into pupspace. From the moment I felt that urge, I knew it wasn't the course to take. That it wasn't going to be an answer or resolution. That it wouldn't even be the re-energizing down time I sometimes find pupspace to be. It just didn't feel right, if that makes any sense. It felt like an avoidance, and for that reason alone I didn't give in.
In hindsight, I'm glad I listened to that countering instinct. Human problems require human thought, and avoidance only makes it all worse.
But I'm still somewhat amazed by the sheer power that draw held at a couple of points here and there. And, that as I think on it, the energy that went with it isn't the energy that defines my inner pup. At the time I didn't sense that kind of difference. Its only in retrospect that I feel it.
Maybe I got thrown another test and lesson. If so, I think I passed.
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